The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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