Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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