Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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