I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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