she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize