its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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