I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize