it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
