Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
