She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Houston, we have a squirter
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
