Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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