is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
