So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
