i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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