dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
