Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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