i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
