The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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