he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
