Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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