don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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