I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
