I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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