I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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