I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
