Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
