We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
