we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
