I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
organizing the empties. That sober.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
