what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
