I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What a dumb baby whore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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