Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
