just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
