One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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