Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize