from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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