First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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