Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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