I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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