Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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