thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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