Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
