i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ttyl tear gas
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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