get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
