dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
