Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
