Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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