I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
