That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
