Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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