he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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