please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I forgot how hot balto sounded
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize