its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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