i jhust puked up my retainher.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
