OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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