he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
