my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize