It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm always down for nudity.
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