what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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