i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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