Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
