I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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