butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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