You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
