the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
