got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
