Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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